Spring is here, and the Pre-Raphaelites are going to tell you how to celebrate.
If you’re not just lying about languidly in a meadow, you’re not really doing it right, are you?
It is also acceptable to lie there with an audience, preferably one enjoying a lovely picnic. And everyone must be the same gender and should, if at all possible, be dressed in very uncomfortable clothing.
After you have wallowed in the flowers, be sure to pick some and stare vacantly into the middle distance.
And of course, you should be arrayed in an artfully disheveled white dress. To get that shabby chic look, you know?
How you dishevel it is up to you.
Never let a gust of wind pass without posing.
When it comes to flower-staffs, the bigger, the better.
Only travel with an entourage of little people, so as better to accent your royal mien and bearing.
Choir boys will also do.
Spring is a lovely time for a refreshing dip.
You know you’re having a good Spring day when, so enraptured by the little blossoms you’re holding, you don’t even notice your long green scarf blowing away.
If you happen to find half-naked classical youths asleep in a garden, surrounded by putti and doves, and stuck in an extraordinarily improbable pose, don’t worry. This is normal in Spring.
Likewise, wild nuns emerge from hibernation and range freely again in the Spring.
While it’s important to enjoy the season, it’s even more important not to get too caught up in it. This time of the year is when people are most at risk of being sealed into trees by nymphs.
But surely the best thing about Spring is that it’s no longer Winter!