Spring According to Pre-Raphaelites

Spring is here, and the Pre-Raphaelites are going to tell you how to celebrate.

WalterCraneSpringIf you’re not just lying about languidly in a meadow, you’re not really doing it right, are you?

SpringAppleBlossoms.jpgIt is also acceptable to lie there with an audience, preferably one enjoying a lovely picnic. And everyone must be the same gender and should, if at all possible, be dressed in very uncomfortable clothing.

Spring_Buckland
After you have wallowed in the flowers, be sure to pick some and stare vacantly into the middle distance.

john_william_waterhouse_10_a_song_of_springtime.jpg And of course, you should be arrayed in an artfully disheveled white dress. To get that shabby chic look, you know?

HirelingHolmanHunt.jpgHow you dishevel it is up to you.

InnerBeautyWaterhouse
Never let a gust of wind pass without posing.

WalterCraneSignsofSpring
When it comes to flower-staffs, the bigger, the better.

the_fairy_wood
Only travel with an entourage of little people, so as better to accent your royal mien and bearing.

William_Holman_Hunt_-_May_Morning_on_Magdalen_Tower
Choir boys will also do.

Ophelia 1851-2 by Sir John Everett Millais, Bt 1829-1896
Spring is a lovely time for a refreshing dip.

Screen Shot 2018-04-21 at 9.54.52 PM.png
You know you’re having a good Spring day when, so enraptured by the little blossoms you’re holding, you don’t even notice your long green scarf blowing away.

The_Awakening_of_Adonis_-_John_William_Waterhouse_(1899)
If you happen to find half-naked classical youths asleep in a garden, surrounded by putti and doves, and stuck in an extraordinarily improbable pose, don’t worry. This is normal in Spring.

SicutLiliumPreRaph
Likewise, wild nuns emerge from hibernation and range freely again in the Spring.

Edward_Burne-Jones_-_The_Beguiling_of_Merlin.jpg
While it’s important to enjoy the season, it’s even more important not to get too caught up in it. This time of the year is when people are most at risk of being sealed into trees by nymphs.

The-Enchanted-Garden-of-Messer-Ansaldo-1-e1480773352693
But surely the best thing about Spring is that it’s no longer Winter!

(Images from here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here)

 

Pious Youths Looking Terribly, Terribly Wan

GerardMajellaFloating
No please, don’t get up.
I can levitate all by myself.
I’m sure you must see lots of levitating clergymen.
It’s no big deal.
Yes, I know it’s not even a foot up, but still.
Just play your flute or whatever.
Go on, keep doing what you were doing.
Just gonna levitate for my own sake.
Sure is high up here.
All seven inches.

St_Aloysius_Gonzaga_June_21stOh, how I hope never to see the Sun.

saint-aloysius-gonzaga-00
To be honest, the best thing about the novitiate is all the restrictions.
It must be unpleasant to have to do all sorts of things that other people do.
Like eating, or going outside, or breathing more than thrice an hour.

StanislausKostka1
Well it has been great holding you.
Really just a once-in-a-lifetime experience.
Truly.
Sure am gonna have to tell my friends about this.
Anyway, you are…uh, kinda heavy.
So uh, I think I’m gonna maybe put you downo, get your hand away from me…
OKAY THEN well I guess we’re just gonna stay like this a little longer.

LeGrosStanislausKostka 2 web
Oh sorry, you caught me at a bad time. I was just dying clear away.

GonzagaBlueBow
I can never pray without my little blue bow.

Screen Shot 2017-09-30 at 10.34.19 PMYou must pray, Iphigenia, you must pray harder.
But Mother, we’ve been doing it for six hours.
If you do not pray, Iphigenia, you can never be well.
We don’t have any more candles left.
Iphigenia, how shall you feel when you are dead and gone far from your own home and all its earthly lights and all who love you?
I only had a small cough
Shhhh, Iphigenia, shhhhh…

berchmans-e1467917574733
Yes, I said “Come down here at once.”
I’ve even got a little space for you to sit here.
Yes, I know there are bones on it.
Well you’ll just have to move them.
It’s not hard. Really.

brotherspraying
How long are we gonna keep saying grace, Jimmy?
Probably a while.
Why?
Because I’m using the Roman Canon.

AloysiusGonzagaStainedGlassI love how this new makeup makes my face match my surplice.

ChildrenPraying
And please bless mommy and daddy.
And please let us eat lots of desert.
And please crush the Modernist heresy in all its damnable ways.

BerchmansWallpaper
This wallpaper.
I hate. every. inch. of it.

SJB-shrine.jpg
John…there’s, there’s a light all about you.
Well I certainly am the most glittering ornament in the room.

DogPrayer
I’m sorry, Cecil, but the Church does teach that you have no immortal soul.

WingsAngel
Yes, they are rather nice wings, thank you.
Unfortunately I can’t move them at all.
But they look great.

StGabrielSorrows.jg
I’m aghast.
I had no idea such a thing could happen to me.
I feel personally victimized.
I walk into the room and what do I see?
This painting.
It’s…it’s…so…philistine!

AloysiusBook
What? You don’t pray to your poetry books?

PorcelainAloysius
Deathly pale is the new black.

BremenChildPraying
Little Peter enjoys his prayers.
He smiles as he prays.
He smiles because he thinks about how, at the Judgment Day, the Lord will cast down the heretics, the wicked, and the reprobate into the everlasting flames of Hell forever, where the demons shall rend the very flesh of their bones and devour them.
Little Peter enjoys his prayers.

(Images from here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, and here)