As my readers will no doubt be aware, most religious orders have a motto that encapsulates their particular charism. However, many of these are a bit tired and could use with some updating. Here are my proposals:

1. Benedictines: Prayer, Work, Monk-eying Around
2. Jesuits: Up to Something
3. Dominicans: Sed Contra
4. Franciscans: Need a Bath
5. Lazarists: Nolite Me Tangere o Pauperes
6. Carthusians: ——-
7. Carmelites: Better Than You
8. Oratorians: O Happy Flowers!
9. Trappists: Beer, Cheese, Keeping Death Daily Before One’s Eyes
10. Cistercians: Trappists But With Fewer Skills
11. Opus Dei: Definitely Not a Cult
12. Augustinians: Peaked in 1517
13. Norbertines: We Have White Birettas
14. Redemptorists: Sowing Scrupulosity, Reaping Laxity
15. Missionaries of Charity: Not Just a Gap Year
16. Passionists: Dying in a Train Station
17. Marists: Not the Marianists
18. Legion of Christ: [REDACTED]
19. Congregation of Holy Cross: Go Irish!
20. Theatines: We Still Exist
21. LCWR: Anything Goes!
22. Salesians: Something for the Boys
23. Basilian Monks: είμαστε ακόμα εδώ
24. Camaldolese: Get Off My Lawn!
25. ICKSP: All Dressed Up and Nowhere to Go
26. Marianists: Not the Marists
27. Holy Spirit Adoration Sisters: Pretty in Pink
28. Heralds of the Gospel: Blasphemous Simpsons Episode Offends the Blessed Mother!
29. Anglican Ordinariate: He Hath Vouchſafèd Unto Us These His Comfortable Words
30. Secular Priests: Singalong Fun with Christopher West!